Getting Sticky With: Isabella Boylston

A ballerina doesn’t stop being a ballerina during pregnancy.

Every little girl dreams of becoming a ballerina. For Isabella Boylston, that dream is a reality. Widely considered one of the most internationally sought-after ballerinas of her generation, Isabella rose through the ranks of American Ballet Theatre to become a Principal Dancer, acclaimed for both her technical precision and emotional depth in roles like Swan Lake and Romeo and Juliet. If you have not seen her on stage, there’s only one word to describe her artistry: breathtaking.

After COVID, a return to the stage reminded her just how much she loved performing… and because of that, the idea of putting it aside again in order to become a mom was harrowing. Eventually, the FOMO subsided and was replaced with burnout.

Now, pregnant with her first child, she’s finding a way to stay in it. She takes class in tights and leotards that trace the curve of her growing belly, and she’s leaned on fellow ballerinas and mothers, like Misty Copeland, as proof that she can do both.

Below, we spoke with Isabella about what that has actually looked like in practice: performing through the fall season (acrobatic partnering and all) while early in her pregnancy, facing the fear of miscarriage even as her doctors reassured her that performing wouldn’t put the baby at risk, and her determination to become an even better dancer after having her baby: “I’ve seen ballerinas that, when they become mothers, their dancing somehow becomes even better. Their dancing and the artistry they bring to the stage—it’s like they have this renewed depth, something extra special.”

Words by AnaMaria Glavan / Photographs by Tommy Rizzoli

**Saying au revoir to FOMO**

I always wanted kids. I wanted one boy and one girl, just like me and my brother, because we’re close and I loved growing up with him. And then as I got into my 30s, my ballet career was taking off and I was getting invited to dance all over the world—in Paris, Japan, China. And I was enjoying dancing so much. Then the pandemic hit, and after a two year pause, I felt such a euphoric high from being back on stage that I didn’t want to interrupt that time to have a kid. My mom kept saying: “You should have a kid now, it’s the perfect time,” but I just didn’t feel ready.

"I had about 10 shows in three weeks and I was doing really hard, acrobatic partnering—being lifted upside down, overhead, tossed around, doing crazy pirouettes. I felt so fatigued, so anxious, so stressed. I was also really afraid of miscarriage because I had a lot of friends who have gone through that."

And then last year, something changed. I was starting to get a little burned out from going at such a heavy pace—doing up to nine-hour rehearsal days, touring a ton, being on the road for months out of the year, performing a lot. I felt like if I took time off now, I wouldn’t feel like I was missing anything. It was the first time in my life where I felt like I would have zero FOMO about not performing. Dan, my husband, and I kind of started trying—not really trying, just not not trying. Then I started tracking everything using those strips you get at Duane Reade. We got pregnant pretty quickly, which we were really fortunate.

I found out I was pregnant the day after we opened the fall season. I was so convinced that I wasn’t pregnant because I had been having classic period cramps. I had no idea that that could also be an early sign of pregnancy. I had just had my birthday, I had a bunch of wine—I was like, I’m definitely not pregnant.

And it was such a joyful moment, but also so stressful because I still had three weeks left of the fall season and I was doing really intense performances. I had about 10 shows in three weeks and I was doing really hard, acrobatic partnering—being lifted upside down, overhead, tossed around, doing crazy pirouettes. I felt so fatigued, so anxious, so stressed. I was also really afraid of miscarriage because I had a lot of friends who have gone through that.

**Performing in The Nutcracker while 13 weeks pregnant**

I only told a couple of my very closest friends, and I also told my dance partner for one of the pieces because I figured he should probably know for safety purposes. I also told my director, Susan, who was incredibly supportive and helped us adapt the choreography. But my doctor reassured me that it’s totally fine and usually miscarriages aren’t from anything the mom does—it’s chromosomal.

As a ballet dancer, you’re very used to being in control of your body. Everything you do every single day is about control. And then this process, I’ve learned, is one you have zero control over. I had no energy and I felt terrible. I ended up dancing in The Nutcracker until I was 13 weeks pregnant. By that point, the company had started to become aware that I was pregnant, even though I hadn’t told them, because I was changing choreography to make it safer and more comfortable.

It wasn’t until 18 weeks that I started to feel more like myself, both emotionally and physically. That was a surprise to me—how I felt emotionally—because I thought I was going to be so happy to be pregnant and that it would be the best time of my life. And while I was so happy and so grateful, I was also overwhelmed with anxiety and fatigue and the uncertainty of it.

Talking to friends and being very candid with my doctor helped. I would say the worst thing I did was go online or on ChatGPT and spiral, Googling things. That’s the worst thing you can do, I’ve learned. I also agonized over whether or not I should get an amniocentesis. At the practice I’m at, they offer it to everyone and it’s completely a personal decision. I was so on the fence because you hear there are risks associated with it. For me, getting it actually ended up giving me a lot more peace of mind.

I’m not currently rehearsing, but I’m still dancing. I still do ballet class, which is basically an hour-and-a-half HIIT class every day. I do that maybe three or four times a week, whereas I used to do it five or six.

Every body is different, every birth is different, every baby is different

One piece of advice my best friend Lauren gave me, who has two kids, was that she regretted how much she read. She said it made her feel more stressed, like she was always failing at something. So I’ll definitely read a couple books, but I haven’t done a ton of research. I think I’ll probably get an epidural. I’m not someone who feels like I need to have an unmedicated birth. If this pregnancy has taught me anything, it’s that there’s a lot that’s not in your control, and I imagine birth is probably even more so like that.

There’s no set template that applies to every single person, which is great because every person’s body is different, every birth is different, every baby is different. Everyone needs different things. One thing I will say: I’m honestly scared of the sleep deprivation. I don’t know how I’m going to do that because I love my eight to nine hours of sleep. It’s kind of hard to imagine doing a super physical job while being extremely sleep-deprived.

"I think I’ll probably get an epidural. I’m not someone who feels like I need to have an unmedicated birth. If this pregnancy has taught me anything, it’s that there’s a lot that’s not in your control, and I imagine birth is probably even more so like that."

I do know people do it—moms just find a way. My baby’s due June 27th so I’ll probably start coming back in the fall and then maybe back on stage in December. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll be back for the Nutcracker. But honestly, it feels so good to not be rehearsing and performing right now. This is the first time since I was 15 and went to ballet boarding school that I haven’t been grinding to be on stage.

Back in the Balanchine era, there were definitely instances of ballerinas facing workplace retaliation for having families. I was definitely so career-focused for so long, and hopefully I still will be. I definitely want to come back to dancing really strong. But I am so ready for a different perspective, a different way of doing things and seeing the world.

Gillian Murphy and Misty Copeland are two close friends of mine who both have kids, and they’ve been really supportive throughout this whole process. And I have two other close ballerina friends, Stella and Unity who both gave birth in January.

A ballerina doesn’t stop being a ballerina during pregnancy

I’ve felt really beautiful throughout my whole pregnancy. I didn’t know what to expect. I did have a moment where I had to check what’s been ingrained in me over the years. I had a fitting for The Nutcracker and my costume did not fit, you couldn’t close it, so we added a stretch panel. I definitely had a moment where I was like, “Oh god, I shouldn’t be on stage right now.”I knew that it was irrational and not how I want to think about myself, because I would never judge anyone else for their body changing.

I’m making a conscious choice in class—when I take class with the dancers, who range from like 17 or 18 to their 40’s—to wear just a leotard and tights. I’m not covering up my body because I want the younger dancers to see that this is simply another way of being a ballerina, and another phase of life that’s really beautiful to see.

And being pregnant actually made me enjoy performing so much more because I haven’t been putting pressure on myself to have the best shows of my life. I was thinking about how special it is that I’m three months pregnant and able to be on stage. That my family’s in the audience, that I’m dancing with my best friend, my partner, and I literally have a baby inside me who’s out there on stage with me. It gave me this perspective shift where I wasn’t trying to prove anything. I was able to really enjoy the show and the fact that this moment might never happen again.

"I’m making a conscious choice in class [to] wear just a leotard and tights. I’m not covering up my body because I want the younger dancers to see that this is simply another way of being a ballerina, and another phase of life that’s really beautiful to see."

Feeling my baby move has been so cool. I’ll be in class and imagine the baby listening to the music because we have live piano music in ballet class, and it’s just the best. I imagine the baby bouncing around. If I eat ice cream, the baby gets super jazzed.

I do think about how a lot of times I’ve seen ballerinas that, when they become mothers, their dancing somehow becomes even better. Their dancing and the artistry they bring to the stage—it’s like they have this renewed depth, something extra special. If I could find that and tap into that, it would make the next chapter of my career even more enjoyable.

“I would have so much resentment in a relationship where I felt like there was domestic inequality.”

I have a strong, unshakable belief in myself from my mother. She definitely set really high standards for me and my brother. And my dad is so loving and expressivenurtured my creativity. That combination of parenting… I probably wouldn’t be the ballet dancer that I am without that. It’s made me a very driven person.

I remember my mom teaching me how to braid by taping pieces of yarn to the table. I remember her helping me learn algebra and making up this system where the variables were cats or mice or little animals instead of X and Y. It would be cool if I could find creative ways to teach my kids new things like that.

My dad and my stepmom will be really involved in helping with my child. And Dan, my husband, gets three months of paternity leave. We both want to set up as much as possible a very equal parenting dynamic, so I think that’ll be huge that he’s able to be there for the first three months. He’s an incredible person and a true partner in every sense.

I would have so much resentment in a relationship where I felt like there was domestic inequality. My career is really important to me and it always has been, and without an equal partner I wouldn’t be able to have that—or it would be way, way harder. I also want my kid to see that. I grew up with my mom being a full-time working mom, and I want my kid to see that too.